I can not stop laughing at this story, the photo, and the tweet that started it all: “A grown ass man is mad at his girlfriend at Olive Garden & has made a menu fort.”
First of all, the guy who tweeted it was blatantly eavesdropping on fellow diners, which we all know is one of my favorite pastimes. Respect. (Also, lesson to everyone: not only might someone be eavesdropping on you, but your awkward business might now become national news.)
Like…on one hand, what exactly was menu guy trying to accomplish? On the other hand, anyone with a fair amount of experience in dating/relationships has definitely had those “I literally cannot even look at you right now” moments.
Just this morning, I woke up exhausted from dream-fighting with my boyfriend all night. When he asked me what it was about, I said, “I just wanted you to leave!” (Also at one point I was Lady Gaga and he didn’t like my back-up dancers. Whatever.)
via Twitter
This got me thinking about whether I’ve had any menu fort moments of my own. I did have one boyfriend who would, without fail, make me so pissed off on any long drive that I would seriously contemplate rolling out of the moving car. I for sure would have built myself a fort if I could have.
Another honorable mention is the time I went to see the movie Kinsey. On a first date. With a guy I didn’t like. When I was 19. I don’t know what made me think that would be okay, but I’m here to tell you it was not. After 118 minutes of non-stop sexual explicitness, I was willing myself to sink through the floor, but would have gladly settled for a wall of Olive Garden menus.
And, in a situation perhaps most similar to the one pictured above — I was once on a dinner date so awkward and tense that when the waitress came to clear the plates, she simply said, “Separate checks?”
Has a date ever made you want to build a menu fort? (And is this story really only funny because of the term “menu fort”?)
Are your twenties a joke...? 