So, Paula Deen’s recent release of
two (apparently there are now three; make it stop) aggressively awkward apology videos (seriously, I was slowly curling into a ball while watching them, they were so uncomfortable) reminded me how much I truly hate celebrity apologies.
I get that celebrities’ careers rely on fans and so they feel compelled to try to save face when they do something unseemly. But for me, nine times out of ten, the apology is more nauseating than whatever it is they’re apologizing for.
Like remember when Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson – and issued a public apology? Um…apologize to your boyfriend, yes. Perhaps apologize to the other man’s wife. But apologize to…us? If anything, she should apologize to us for her terrible acting and the horrid facial expression she makes in every.single.photo. But for hooking up with some dude? No.
And what is with every celebrity who does something offensive checking into rehab?? Remember when Isaiah Washington used a gay slur to refer to T.R. Knight, publicly apologized, and then went to rehab? Seriously? I abhor homophobia as much as the next person, but since when do you go to rehab for being an asshole? But, it seems that’s the answer now. Cheat on your wife? You’re obviously a sex addict who must go to rehab – after you apologize to all of America, of course.
Not only are celebrity apologies awkward and unnecessary – they’re usually so disingenuous. Whenever a celeb gets caught doing/saying/smoking something inappropriate, they launch into all sorts of backpedaling and self-flagellation. They go to rehab, donate to a charity, shoot a PSA, whatever – but half the time, you know they really have no moral issue with what they did.
I recently read that Joel Madden was kicked out of his Australian hotel because the housekeeper found a small amount of marijuana in his room and called the police. In all likelihood, smoking pot is a part of his life and not something he considers wrong. Still, I kind of expected him to make like a celebrity, hang his head, and issue a statement about the evils of drug use.
But…he didn’t. He just said he was sorry if he caused anyone “too much drama.” That was it. And I loved it. Because he didn’t apologize for something that a) he was not sorry for, and b) in no way affects the rest of us.
I wish more celebrities would follow his lead, eliminating the constant stream of weirdly personal, dramatic, and fake public apologies we are subjected to (and for the love of God, any more Paula Deen videos).